Behold a Pale Horse
by L Moonshade
Summary: Methos' past comes back to haunt him. Will Wraith be able to forgive him? And, what secrets is she hiding?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Must as I wish I did, I don't own Methos. In fact, I don't own anything here except for Wraith. Everything else belongs to other people.

A/N: My Methos muse isn't letting me rest! At least this time, he's given me some ideas I can actually work with. If you like this, please RR. Heck, if you don't like it, RR. Flames will be used to keep me warm.

**Prologue**

Methos stood on the balcony, looking out at the woods behind the mansion. The moon was full and bright as it rose above the treetops, turning everything silver. Just this side of the tree line, Kevin—in half-cat form—was chasing mice.

He didn't like this place. No, he amended, he didn't like being here, but even that wasn't entirely true. Truth was, even though it went against every survival instinct he possessed, Methos did like it here. He liked it because Wraith was happy, but also for his own sake. Things certainly weren't boring, not with hormonal teens carrying so much power, and said kids were starting to grow on him. He was also making friends with some of the teachers, not least of which was Wolverine, Wraith's father. There was a man who was fun to go drinking with.

"You seem to be in a brown study, this evening."

Methos glanced back to see the Professor. "It happens, every now and then."

Xavier joined him. "You are uncomfortable, here."

"I'm a loner. This is a bit more togetherness than I'm used to."

"Having so many telepaths around doesn't help, either."

"I have lived long enough to have few secrets."

"Many of us do. It's what you are that we care about here, Adam."

"I don't care what the rest of you think. It's Wraith I'm worried about."

"You're worried that she doesn't know you as well as she thinks she does."

"I can guarantee it."

"As can I that the reverse is true. She is young, but she has had an eventful life. Do not put her on a pedestal, Adam. You would be doing both of you a disservice. You are welcome to stay here for as long as you like. Not just because of Wraith, but for your own sake, as well."

"Even though I'm not a mutant?"

"You are a good man, Adam, regardless of the secrets you have, and you care for the students. Your lack of an extra gene means nothing."

Methos sighed. "This place is bad for me. If I stay here much longer, you're going to have me convinced I'm a decent sort of guy."

"What is wrong with that?"

Methos turned and went back inside. "Because I'm nothing of the sort," he shot over his shoulder.

When he got up to the bedroom he shared with Wraith, he found her already there, lights off, standing naked at the door to the balcony. He undressed, then cleared the space between them, pausing long enough to run his fingers over the three, long scars that ran across her back, and make her shiver. Those scars caused a lot of people to look away, but her reaction to them had made him want to get to know her; she almost seemed proud of them.

"I still don't know how you got those," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"No, but, if I tell you tonight, you won't remember," she said, amused. "You've been drinking with Daddy again, haven't you?"

"He's a fun drinking partner, what can I say? You're not mad?"

"No, but you can pretend I am and make it up to me, anyway."

Methos chuckled. "I just might take you up on that offer," he said, kissing the back of her neck.

"Mmm," she purred. "I've been thinking that we need a break. We haven't had much time to ourselves."

He nibbled an ear, eliciting a gasp. "An excellent idea. Did you have a destination in mind?"

She turned within the circle of his arms. "What about Seacouver? I'd like to meet your friends. Really meet them."

"Wonderful idea. We'll finalize the details later," he said, pulling her close.

"Later's good," she whispered as their lips met.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

As the elevator rose, Wraith felt the now-familiar buzz that indicated an Immortal.

"That should be MacLeod," Methos said, shifting so he could get to his sword.

"Just in case, huh?" she said as the elevator ground to a halt.

"Just in case." He smiled as he opened the grate, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Wraith smiled back, but it was troubled. "What's wrong, Methos? You've been on edge ever since we got here."

He took her hand and kissed it. "It's nothing."

She let him lead her off the elevator and down the hall, knowing that he was lying.

They stepped into the dojo to find it empty. In the office, however, Duncan was sitting at a desk, looking expectantly at the door. He grinned when he saw who it was and came out to meet them.

"How're you doing, Old Man?" he asked as he and Methos embraced.

"I'm good, MacLeod. You?"

"Fine. Wraith," Duncan greeted her, taking her hands in his and kissing her cheeks. "You look wonderful."

"Thanks." They'd only met once, when she had been dying and not at her best. "All better."

"Good. Hey, Methos, we've had a run-in with a nasty Immortal. Do you know anything about Kronos?"

"Kronos?" Methos asked.

Wraith shifted slightly so she could see both of them. There were a lot of emotions ringing in that one word; feigned non-interest, fear, shock.

"Yeah," Duncan confirmed.

Methos started to say something, but the elevator came down and a woman stepped out. She took one look at Methos and her face became hard and hateful.

"You!"

Methos blinked. "Who's this?" he asked casually.

"Draw your sword," she said, pulling out her own.

"Woah, woah, let's talk this out," Wraith said, stepping between the woman and Methos.

"MacLeod? Who is this?"

"Cassandra," Duncan said. "Cassandra, please, calm…"

"Stay out of this, MacLeod."

"You don't know me," Methos said deliberately.

"Do you think I could ever forget you?" she shot back.

"This is crazy," Methos said. "I'll come back when it's not so nuts."

Methos pushed past Cassandra on the way to the elevator. It took both Wraith and Duncan to hold her back.

"You had no right to interfere," she snarled.

"Cassandra, he's our friend."

She turned on Duncan. "Your 'friend' rode with Kronos. He was one of the Horsemen."

Wraith's face went pale. "_The _Horsemen?"

"Of the Apocalypse," Cassandra snapped, then turned and left.

Wraith stood there a moment then, shaking off her shock, she raced out after Methos, taking the stairs. Duncan was right on her heels.

"I can't believe it, either," he said. "But, I've never known Cassandra to lie."

"That's the thing. I can believe it," Wraith said, rushing out the door. "Methos," she called.

The oldest Immortal looked up.

"Is what Cassandra said true?" Duncan asked.

Methos shook his head, crestfallen. "The times were different, the world was different, and so was I."

Wraith was silent, but Duncan was anything but.

"Did you kill all those people?" he asked, voice breaking.

Methos answered Duncan's question, but he spoke to Wraith. "Yes," he said, quietly but firmly. "Killing was all I knew. Is that what you want to hear?"

"It's enough," Wraith said.

"Oh, no, Love, it's not enough. I killed, but I didn't just kill 50, I didn't kill a hundred, I killed a thousand, I killed _ten_ thousand, and I was good at it. And, it wasn't even for vengeance, or greed, it was because I liked it." He laughed a little and Duncan winced. "Cassandra was nothing, her village was nothing. Do you know who I was? I was Death, Death on a horse. When mothers warned their children that the monster would get them, that monster was me, I was the nightmare that kept them awake at night. Is that what you want to hear?" He nodded. "The answer is yes. Oh, yes."

Wraith began to speak, but Methos took her face in his hands and kissed her, as tenderly and gently as he had the first time. "I'm so sorry, Kee. I'm sorry I let you down, I'm sorry I'm not the man you thought I was." He kissed her again, sliding his hands to her shoulders. Suddenly, he broke away and gently pushed her into Duncan's arms. "MacLeod?"

"I'll train her," Duncan said, replacing Methos' hands with his.

"Methos, wait," Wraith said.

"Don't let her follow," Methos said, getting into the car. "Don't let her follow."

Duncan turned Wraith and pulled him firmly into his arms as Methos drove away.

"He doesn't want you to go, Wraith," Duncan said gently.

She dropped her forehead onto his shoulder. "That's only because he thinks I hate him."


	3. Chapter 2

A/N: Just a quick clarification; _italics _are telepathic conversation.

**Chapter 2**

Duncan and Wraith paused as they approached the bar, having sensed another Immortal.

"I suppose it would be bad form if I walked in there with my sword drawn?"

"She's just the messenger," Duncan said.

"I know. Her timing, however, sucks. Then, there's that little problem with her wanting to kill him."

"You don't?"

"No. Do you?"

Duncan heaved a sigh. "I don't know."

"Better figure it out, soon," Wraith said, then stepped into the bar.

She recognized the woman at once, wasn't surprised to see Cassandra there. The man who sat at the table with her looked older, with silvering hair, but was still going strong. He glanced at Duncan, before studying Wraith, a slight frown touching his lips. For her part, Wraith was rocked to the core. She'd never expected to run into this man, again.

"Do I know you?" he asked.

"Doubtful," she said lightly, passing it off. Now wasn't the time for a confrontation. "I'm Wraith."

"Joe Dawson. Mac, is it true?"

"Yeah, it's true. We need to see if the other two are alive."

Joe shook his head. "I'm already looking. I doubt they are."

"Why not, Methos and Kronos are," Wraith said.

"So, you admit the need to kill him?" Cassandra said.

Wraith turned and met the other woman's gaze. "I admit the need to find them. That's it."

"I'm looking for white male Immortals who don't have a first or last date of death. From there, I'll look for names that resemble Silas and Caspian." He glanced up at Wraith. "You know what Watchers are?"

"An organization that document and chronicle the lives of Immortals, supposedly without interfering. Methos filled me in."

"Of course he did," Joe said dryly. "We'll have to get you a Watcher, soon."

"Wait until someone knows I've died, huh? When you do, I suggest you recruit a newbie, someone from Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters."

"Isn't that the elite private school Upstate New York?"

"A boarding school. One I happen to teach at."

Joe nodded, impressed. "Makes sense. Look, here we are. Evan Caspari."

Cassandra looked at the picture. "That's Caspian, all right."

"He's in Rumania, in an asylum. For the criminally insane."

"What are we waiting for?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Caspari escaped last night," the orderly told them. "I don't know what happened, just that they found Dr. Cernavoda's body this morning."

"Let's go," Cassandra said.

"Did he have any visitors?" Wraith asked, ignoring her.

"The records don't show any," the orderly said, then turned as someone hailed her. "Excuse me," she said, then went to talk to the police.

Wraith moved farther into the building, Duncan following, dragging Cassandra behind him.

"What are you doing?" Cassandra snapped.

"We have no idea where they've gone. Maybe they left something in Caspian's cell."

They stepped into the cell, closing the door behind them. Wraith looked around, but it was Duncan who spotted the book of matches in the corner.

"Look, Hotel de Seze, Bordeaux. Methos must have left it."

"The question is, what for," Cassandra said.

"You think he's setting us up."

Cassandra laughed. "Don't you?"

"Maybe," Duncan said as they stepped back out into the hall.

"But we're going anyway?"

Wraith scoffed. "Of course we are."

"After all," Duncan piped up. "It's the only place we've been invited."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

They were in Bordeaux, in the hotel the matches had been from. Wraith had gotten a separate room, but, at the moment, she was in the room Duncan and Cassandra were sharing.

"He hasn't gotten in touch. We have no way of finding them."

"He'll get in touch," Duncan said.

"He's not your friend, he's putting the Horsemen together, and you have no idea what that means. Neither one of you has any idea what that means."

Wraith stood. "You don't know me, Cassandra, quit pretending you do. I know exactly what that means, and I'm tired of waiting. I'm going to look for him."

"Wraith, wait. If you come across all four of them…"

But, she was already gone.

Once outside, Wraith pulled out her cell phone and dialed. A moment later, it was answered.

"Xavier."

"Professor, it's Wraith."

"You sound troubled."

"It's Adam. I know he's not a mutant, but, do you think you can find him?"

"I may be able to; he certainly isn't normal, after all. Though, it would help if you could narrow it down, somewhat."

"Bordeaux, France."

"I'll be in touch."

Wraith wandered the city, not really paying attention to where she was, as she waited for the Professor to get back to her. So many thoughts racing around her head. Death. Methos had been one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. He had changed, though, enough that he didn't want that life any more. Or, so she thought. Of course, just a few days ago, she wouldn't have thought of such evil in his past. She couldn't forgive him—what he had done was unforgivable, and she knew it—but she could live with the darkness in his soul. Just as she could live with the darkness in her own.

_"Wraith, I've found him."_

Contact from the Professor came hours after she'd first called him. _"Thank you. Where is he?"_

_"There is an abandoned submarine base on the Southside. He is there with four others like him."_

_"Four?"_

_"One is a prisoner, I believe."_

_"Cassandra. Thank you, Professor."_

_"Be careful."_

_"Always."_

After asking directions from a few people, Wraith found her way to the base. She wasn't the first one there, though; on the bridge in front of her, a fight was already in full swing, Duncan and Caspian. Another man, one she figured was Silas, stood watching, ready to kill Duncan if he beat Caspian. For the moment, Wraith stood back, not getting close enough for them to sense her, but waiting. She could see that Duncan was close to winning; she wasn't going to let Silas kill him when he was down.

Duncan did win, removing Caspian's head from his body. He made it to the edge of the bridge before the Quickening hit, though, and let the power of the event kick him over the side. Silas watched until the light show was over, then picked up Caspian's sword and stalked off.

Wraith, keeping her distance, followed.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"MacLeod's on his way, isn't he?" Kronos asked. Things weren't going quite the way he'd hoped, though he would never admit he was concerned. True, Methos was still on his side, true, Cassandra was his prisoner, but MacLeod was still alive.

Methos shrugged. "Does it matter? He's not the one you have to worry about."

"Oh? Who else is there? You?"

He paused at the bottom of the stairs, sensing another Immortal. He looked up to see a young girl at the top, blocking the way.

"No. Me."

Kronos laughed. She was a pup and couldn't hope to stand up to him. But, he'd play the game, in any case. It would be a small diversion.

"The Three Horseman of the Apocalypse. Doesn't sound right, does it, Kronos? So, tell me. What are you going to do now?"

"You're not going to be around long enough to find out."

Wraith drew her sword. "I wouldn't be so confident of that, if I were you."

"Think of Cassandra," he warned. "If you don't fight, she'll live. If you do, win or lose, she dies. Your life for hers. What do you say?"

"I think she'd rather die. In any case, I really don't care what happens to her."

Farther down on the upper level, Duncan's blood ran cold. That wasn't Wraith, was it? He decided she must be bluffing.

Kronos frowned, not having expected the girl's callous answer. But, he turned to Methos without remarking on it. "Tell Silas to finish her. And let her know it was this chit's decision."

Without a word, Methos turned to leave. He, too, was stunned, all the more so because he knew full well that Wraith wasn't bluffing. Had he misjudged her so much?

Wraith, however, acted at once, racing down the stairs to attack. Kronos took a glancing blow that drew a little blood, blocked the next strike, then went on the offensive.

Duncan watched in growing respect for Wraith, but also fear. She was holding her own, if just barely, but it would be all over once she tired. Duncan wanted to rush in and save her—such a waste of a young life!—but he wasn't going to get involved in honorable combat. All he could do was to try and avenge her death, for he had no doubt the exercise would end that way.

Suddenly, another fight burst into the submarine bay, Silas and Methos. Kronos paused briefly, snarling when he saw what was going on.

"Methos," he growled bitterly.

"Worry about me," Wraith said, taking advantage of his distraction. She wasn't able to get in a solid hit, but the tip of her blade scraped across his chest, leaving a long trail of blood behind.

"Why?" he asked, coming back with a vicious attack, striking her sword with all of his strength. The force of the blow forced Wraith to her knees, even as her blade shattered.

"No!" Duncan yelled. "Wraith!"

"Don't feel bad, Sweet," Kronos purred. "You're young, there's no way you could hope to win."

She lifted her head and the dark look on her face chilled Duncan to the core and gave Kronos pause.

"Call it cheating, call it using all my resources, but I'm not done, yet."

Kronos tried to swing his sword, but it refused to budge. Duncan thought he saw her eyes glow.

"I'm a mutant," Wraith said, getting to her feet. Kronos' sword left his hand and flew into hers. "And, I will not die today."

Duncan watched in disbelief as the shards of her sword swirled up and around Kronos in a deadly whirlwind, distracting him enough that Wraith could drive the sword into his gut. It was his turn to drop to his knees; Wraith wasted no time in swinging his sword through his neck. At the same time, Methos ended his fight with Silas.

There was a long moment of quiet and stillness, then it started. Light began to play along the dead Immortals slowly, like nothing more than ripples of static electricity. It built quickly, though, until all hell broke loose and lightning struck around, through, between Methos and Wraith, and it became impossible to tell where one Quickening ended and the other began. When it was over, Methos and Wraith collapsed.

"I killed Silas," Methos wailed. "I _liked_ Silas!"

Wraith staggered over to him and gathered him into her arms, holding him as he cried.

"Am I supposed to forgive you?" Cassandra yelled.

"Cassandra, no!" Duncan called.

Wraith lifted her head. "You really don't want to try, Cassandra. I'll kill you if you do."

"You're not strong enough."

"Cassandra, she's an Immortal like you are," Duncan told her. "Did you see what she did to Kronos?"

"God knows I won't have any problem killing you if you try, Mac's friend or no."

"You're just like him," Cassandra snapped.

"Thank you."

Cassandra threw a glare at Duncan, then left. After a moment, the Highlander joined Wraith and Methos on the floor.

"What about you? You're not quite what I thought. You can live with what he did? You can forgive him?"

"Of course not," Methos said bitterly, his sobs quieting. "What I did is not forgivable."

"Neither is what I did. About the same time you were born, so was the first mutant. Same area, too, I wonder…By the time the Bronze Age had rolled around, he was calling himself…"

"Apocalypse," Methos said, pulling out of her arms.

"The Horsemen," Duncan breathed. "Wraith, how do you know all this?"

"I've had…dealings with Apocalypse. I'm willing to bet these four were the first, but they weren't the last. Over the millennia, he's always had four Riders; Death, War, Famine, Plague. His harbingers, his right hand men and women.

"Nearly ten years ago, when I was eighteen, Apocalypse grabbed me and three others for his latest batch of Riders. He gave me a choice. Accept the position as Death, or he'd kill me."

"And you did it?" Methos asked quietly.

"I had to. The mutant he would have chosen would have relished the role, enjoyed it far too much, and I, at least, had a family who would try to get me out of it. But, most of all, I simply wanted to live. Survival is a strong motivator, after all. Apocalypse brainwashed me, anyhow, but he'd wanted me to choose it, first.

"The programming was finally broken, but not before I was nearly killed. See, a part of me loved it, was pleased by the screams of terror, of the dying, the smell of blood, and that part resisted all attempts to get through to me." She took off her jacket, showing Duncan the scars. "My father, another mutant, nearly killed me. It was the pain and weakness that lowered my resistance enough for a telepath to get in and break Apocalypse's hold on me."

"Your own father," Duncan said, sick.

"That's why you're so proud of them," Methos said. "Not because of what they say about you, but what they say about Wolverine."

"He would have killed me to stop me from killing a gentleman who had just watched me kill his companion. To keep me from killing your friend, Joe."

Duncan shook his head. "If you could go back, would you change it?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to."

He looked her in the eye. "If you could go back?"

"I don't think about it …"

"If you could go back?" he insisted.

She relented. "No, I wouldn't. I've faced the darkness in my soul and made peace with it, and I will live with what I did. I will neither forgive nor ask for forgiveness, but I will accept it, and the choices I made. Is that what you want to know?"

"That's enough," he said bitterly.

She smiled wryly. "Yes, MacLeod. This time, it is."

"I won't tell Joe," Duncan said, stalking towards the door. "It's not my place."

Once Duncan was gone, Methos stood and offered Wraith a hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't think you'd be able to accept it. Same reason you didn't tell me, I'm willing to guess."

"Pretty much. No more secrets between us. Can we survive that?"

Wraith smiled. "If we can survive this one, I think we can survive just about anything."

Methos pulled her close and kissed her. "I guess we're a bit more alike than I thought."

"Is that a bad thing?"

He grinned evilly. "Not at all."

**Epilogue**

"Will I still be welcome here?" Methos asked as he and Wraith stepped out of the car.

"We're none of us perfect. We all know that."

The Professor was at the front door of the mansion, just as he had been the first time Methos had arrived. He smiled warmly at them as they walked up the stairs. "Welcome back."

From the open doors, a small, black cat came racing out of the mansion and threw itself at Methos. The Immortal caught a young boy in his arms.

"Adam!" Kevin squealed. "You're home!"

Methos laughed as he swung the boy around. "Home. I like the sound of that."

* * *

A/N: Thanks to Kitty and RagaMuffinSun for reviewing. I really appreciate your comments, and am glad you like it; I've certainly had a lot of fun writing it. 


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